Worthiness!!!

Repeating the same thing again and again.

Life life will give you nothing but pain.

Finding the way out of your miseries.

count on me ,when you are at fisheries.

People will call you for what is not worth.

When things are done they won’t call you, not even for once.

They will show you what you got from their work.

Now their significance is undesirable.

Defining the odds into the mist of dusky sun.
Prioritising your level of efforts.
Monitoring and controlling each task.
Closure of every lot with the same enthusiasm and charm.
The most difficult work always, keeping the pace with the time.

Why love first when you looking for career, why it is important to take rest in the first lap of marathon.
Who told this? Why there is a need?

Are we not satisfied with ourselves.

Walking on the path which is directed by someone else. What was the rush? Why new task attracting mostly in your adulthood rather than now. Are we less matured back then or we were crazy?.

Probably our out braking systems of brain are Fully developed now. Directing every decision made.

Do you?

I was alone mostly for a long time of life, hence always preferred to be alone most of the time, was pretty good at the alone thing. Then you came along from nowhere and my whole world changed. I was so independent but abruptly started liking to be dependent on someone for everything, but in the process of doing so how could I forget that would be killing his desire to be free of responsibilities till he can!

Falling in love with you was the most beautiful thing for me. Because things are beautiful when they are shared. Nobody had ever done the lovely things for me except my family and nobody does it better. I started liking to get married, and have kids. Whereas he started developing to back to the childhood free of tension and anxiety.

One fine day I woke up, off to work on my bike, got into accident only thing I remembered is his name and wanted to go back to him because he will take care of everything. The only thing that I was worried about was, what if I didn’t die in his arm and at this particular point of time where ambitions are still not fulfilled.

I often like to be in control but mostly these chemicals in our brain control us. I may have accused you of many things which are always compelled by the desire for more but nothing to do with us.

Why do we run hills when finding the slightest connection? Why do we compel to fight for the things that provide a spark to your routine? maybe because we were afraid to lose the things that we are attached to “the unusual”.

I am reckless, weary, angry, most of the time reluctant to take risks as you. I want to be married to you. I always wanted someone, the strings, the connections, the kids, the noisy house, the family to take care of and the festivals to celebrate together —— DO YOU? Do you still care?

We skipped one step “Career”, jumped to “Love” first. The biggest mistake in life. Will you be able to find way back to me? or this diversion turns into despicability? –  only Time will tell.

 

 

11 Reasons why I fall in love?

It’s been years since we have been talking to each other. I still can’t find the reason why i fall in love with you in the first place? was it my readiness or your uniqueness.

Love is a trap, no matter how conscious you are, you will always fall for it and if it’s not your first then you are at more risk! If you are fair than its “GOOD”, If you are Smart then “Better”, and if you are sexy than “BEST” but worst combo if you are neither fair, smart nor sexy. After years of togetherness, you conclude it as a robotic act with less enthusiasm and spark for breathing. I summaries it as a journey of strolling up and down the corridor. We have created a bunch of irreplaceable memories to embrace throughout our whole life. There’s no difference between falling in love and being in love. Falling in love with you is like falling into something which is great and exhilarating and a teensy bit scary, but mostly great. There are many things like walking down the streets holding hands, shopping at the grocery store, cooking and dropping at stations that I fall for ever time. How can you be so perfect for me? was it me or the timing responsible for this mess?

“Watching you sleep was not only just your thing, was mine too!!” Your every breath reminds me of the first time we met. Most of the time i am afraid of losing grip on you because of which i kept on asking you why you love me? every now and then.

Increased levels of oxytocin [often called the ‘cuddle hormone’] and Dopamine is the biological way your body reacts when you are in love. Why people fall in love? The most generalized answer to this is a general attraction and various social factors producing strong passion.

According to various researchers, the attraction and the social parameters producing intense passion are:

  1. Similarity [ Similarity in believes,  traits and the way of thinking]
  2. Propinquity: [familiarity with the other, caused by spending time together]
  3. Desirable characteristics: [focused on an outer desirable physical appearance and desirable personality traits]
  4. Reciprocal liking: [When the other person’s liking that increases your own liking]
  5. Social influences: [One’s social network, can contribute to people falling in love]
  6. Filling needs: [fulfill needs for companionship, love or act of love]
  7. Unusualness: [an unusual or arousing environment can ignite passion]
  8. Specific Cues: [One’s  physical appearance of the other may ignite a particularly strong attraction ]
  9. Readiness: [Wanna be in a relationship]
  10. Isolation: [Spending more time alone with another person]
  11. Mystery: [Due to some mystery surrounding the other person which creates  uncertainty about what the other person thinks or feels, wondering when he or she will initiate contact can also contribute to getting attracted to that person]

The researchers found that the most frequently mentioned factor is certain desirable characteristics of the other person and reciprocal liking. whereas very less frequency of the factors that spark passion (e.g., readiness or unusualness).

The use of positive illusions, a couple’s ability to feel empathy for one an another, continuous communication and the ability to control emotions during highly stressful situations act as strong adhesive to remove friction in a  long-term relationship.

My love falls into the category of unusualness, making more difficult to replicate once again. There’s neither similarity nor reciprocality involved from the beginning, making more difficult to find the way back to each other. I will try to develop some romantic skills like singing or playing some musical instrument. Maybe you will find a new reason to love me again in the next few years. Take all your space and time you need to build your future, will always be happy to see you succeed whether I will be part of it or not!

After all “Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.”

“How to thrive in man dominated industry?”

It’s been 08 months since I have started working in well known construction industry as a primavera P6 expert.

I am 25, and this journey was full of ups and downs. It was clear after high school that I was going to work in technology; after completion of graduation I worked for few months and realized the need of post graduation to fit in. When about to complete my 2nd sem of Infrastructure engineering and management” i got a call from recruiting website for an interview and started working along with my studies.

I worked hard to survive through all odds and got interviewed for getting up on permanent pay roll. Being a women you come to people’s attention more easily and things become more difficult when you are free minded. People always have something to talk about you from top to bottom. Your every action monitered and judged. I feel intimidating to break into man dominated industry but women have so much value that we need them to take the leap.

I am happy to get the chance to shape my personality after every encounter with hurdles that could have stopped me from accomplishing  in technology. Confidence and constant determination required when you are surrounded by people who don’t believe in you. In the beginning you need to push yourself to your max with patience above all humiliations.

Overall, you have to constantly prove yourself, earn respect, and have to be better at your job than a man does. They will always question your technical soundness and mental preparedness to tackle sudden unavoidable critical situations to object your credibility when you are placed above them. This question can be avoided when you have enough exposure of the respective field by breaking the walls of insecurity and anxiety around you to flourish quickly with less objections.

The Way You Look at…!

“The Best feeling is the one when you at him and he is already staring at you!”

There is something in his eyes that says, “Honey I Love you!” with a smile on his face whenever we use to meet. Now things have changed a lot. There’s no sparkle in his eyes when he saw me. I miss the way he use to look at me.

This month was hell lot more for me, professionally, emotionally as well as financially. Nothing goes as planned.  This month can’t be more worst than this, I already lost everything including you.

How do you know when there is still chances to get back to each other?

It’s for you…. Straight from heart….

I will love you forever because the memories you gave neither replaceable nor repeatable.

I will love you because you gave me freedom to feel free to chase your dreams.

I will always love you because you were there for me when everyone left.

I will  love because i don’t ever needed to be fake to you just to make you happy and love me more ( You already loved me more than I wished for..)

 

 

Breakeven point

How you get to know that ” he is the one! the only one! for you…”

I saw him at railway station for the very first time,when traveling with friends to same place. He was one of my friends friend. i don’t remember much of it but the judgement i made that day, about his character, unfortunately remained somewhere in my mind “whoever he love will be a lucky girl” i don’t know why and how i concluded that. I almost forgot about that day when me met again.

After that, meeting went to infinite loop. Loving someone form the core of your heart, caring about each other in every possible way you can and constantly motivating each other for better is nothing but felt like heaven.

Many people asked me,” what’s your story?”  when i don’t reply they assume that either i am introvert or shy, but neither i am introvert nor shy.

I don’t have a story to tell about us, just a girl in love. 

He is love of my life and i can’t love anyone like the way i love him. I generally don’t talk about us because there’s nothing but intense feelings, which is hard to explain. It’s was like when i was drowning, he saved me. All i want from him is to pick me, choose me and share with me till he can. “I love you” and “you love me”, all i want to hear is this from him and i don’t care about anything else. I don’t want to live without him. We have changed a lot in past years and things  pushed to breaking point but whatever happens will bring us more closer. It’s not the time to give upon each other.

It took so long for me to realise that i wanted to be in his life. We promised each other, there’s no running and hiding, no matter what happens, we will stay together till the end because this is our life this our arena, we can’t and we won’t give up.

5 checkpoints for a relationship! (2 min read)

At the age of 24, the questions like what is life?, how you picturize yourself after 5 years?, what is your expectation from your partner?, relationship goals, parents expectations, peer group, and most importantly what now you are doing which leads to your satisfaction level?…… All these questions will haunt you every day. All these questions are unanswered, neither an experienced person nor google can answer your questions. YOU yourself have to figure out!

Yesterday, he was on social media and i asked him “whom you talking to?” he replied “Jessica!” I out of curiosity asked him again “Who is she and what are you guys talking about?” He replied with a bit of irritation – ” About work!”

Before going to bed i checked their messages and found out it wasn’t work but an new conversation between old college-mate,  with whom he never talked before but have seen each other many times. What do you think has happened next?. Ahha! I acted as i was jealous but actually i was mad at him for not replying properly when asked. This wasn’t the first time he did this. An opaque wall is developing between his and my mind, I am unable to read his mind. He is becoming a puzzle for me to solve and with every coming day, we are becoming more strangers.

“I don’t know what went wrong. Our relationship was headed in a positive direction and then—wham!—it all fell apart.” We don’t talk anymore like we use to be, we don’t share anymore like we use to be. Something is changing, Something is not right or i am just overthinking. Whatever it is but i know one thing that it should be fixed on time, or else time will create a long distance in our relation.

Love, friendship, intimacy, passion, mutual support… all these relationship benefits make for a happier life. Ah, that special someone you can laugh with, who shares your hopes, dreams, and Healthy relationships make you healthy and help you feel secure, strong, loved, and loving – at least some of the time.

Yesterday reading an article about 70 yr married couple died holding hands; I wondered how these people last longer? The only key to their successful marriage is they fall in love with the same person over and over again after every bad break. Bad breaks are scary, change your world upside down but a better understanding and goodwill can be life saviour.

Here are five of the most common checklist for healthy and inspiring relationship, Critically analyse and evaluate as per your own understanding and situations.

1. Giving mental and physical attention:

Making room for a new partner may help you to get over with things you’d forgotten were there. And, of course, he or she certainly has hidden hurts, too. The issue is not the wounds we carry or the scars we bear, since everyone has some of those. The issue is the willingness to examine and work through emotional difficulties. To succeed in a relationship, both partners must be willing to sift through and do the work required to get over a painful past.

2. Avoid lies and Dishonesty:

Lies destroy TRUST component of any relationship. A person’s need to lie is a telling clue about his character and emotional health. It may indicate serious insecurity, lack of integrity, or flimsy moral standards. And if dishonesty shows up while dating, it’s likely to only get worse during marriage. Here’s a sobering fact of life: If your partner is willing to lie to you once, he or she is likely to do it again. But if do lie,make sure that you have a good reason to do so; otherwise thing may not end up the way you want them to be.

3. Jealousy and Possessiveness:

Freedom to be yourself—without someone else constantly telling you what you should or should not do—is critical if your relationship is going to thrive and flourish. Few relationships are able to survive extreme jealousy, possessiveness, over dependence, or manipulative and controlling behavior. Such actions and attitudes are a sure sign that one or both people lack a solid emotional foundation. Placing excessive demands on your partner’s time and attention may seem like a normal expression of romantic love. In reality, it is a destructive form of domination. 90% relationship end up due to jealousy, insecurity and extreme demanding behaviour.

4. Avoid living in fantasy world:

When a woman describes her man as “my perfect Prince Charming” that is Unrealistic expectations which serve as treacherous sinkholes on the road to lasting love . But ground reality is no one is PERFECT; like the two sides of a coin; every perfect looking thing has it’s own bright and dark side but at a time only one can be seen. In a healthy dating relationship, the individuals acknowledge that nobody is perfect and there will surely be problems to address. Every relationship will require hard work and perseverance.

5. Embrace each other’s success:

Being supportive towards each other’s work and achievements will mark a milestone of your happy and healthy relationship. There’s nothing wrong with believing the best about each other, admiring your partner’s positive qualities, and nurturing dreams of a bright future together.

To make the partnership last, take them off your fantasy world, and be alert to warnings of trouble while it may still be avoided. Because life never gives the second chance;  it only gives you the second lesson.

Never enough!

You never ready to let your loved one’s go! You just do it….

I haven’t seen death in front of my eyes, specially death of our own parents. I find myself very lucky enough in this case but my father isn’t. I heard him talking to my mom; that he was very upset that he didn’t get to see his father for one last time but he was relieved that he did everything that he could and he was just right beside his mother when she died. My grandparents were loving and caring person. My father is a very strong person emotionally; he never cried in front of us but when they died he cried alot. He is kind of introvert, never let others feel what he is feeling; shows his extreme love towards them.

This is when i realize that how much it counts for a person to stay with their parents in their last time and pay their due respect. You just wanna be there, hear them talking and pray every moment hoping that this is not the time for them to leave.

He think about his mother’s last words off time ” Come! Sit near me…..”

I always keep wondering will there be enough time to talk and share everything you have?

The answer is NO! 

There will never be enough time to spend. You just stay there, listen to them carefully. Let them talk about everything they wants to talk about, record their voice in your mind and memorise everything. Just keep sitting there, holding their hands and show your love in every possible way that you can.

As we all just want to be surrounded by our loved one’s at out last moment specially when you know it’s time. Time for us to leave.

Nothing last forever!

No matter how hard you try! nothing’s gonna last forever, everything comes apart at some point. It happens all the time. We have to face it and accept it and try to hold it together for as long as we can.

only thing that make us feel less painful is when you know the reason. It makes me really angry when you can’t relate and your heart feel the pain. when we part, i wish we end at happy note without any doubt.